5 Tips in Dealing with Men

Matthew 5:37

"Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No,' 'No.'

 

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Today, I'm discussing the differences between men and women - and there are lots of differences.

For the last few weeks I've been working primarily with men in the planning and execution of our Annual Golf tournament.  (And thank you Jesus, it was a successful tournament.)

In dealing with men, I've learned something very important:  Men are vastly different from women.  (As if you didn't already know!) 

Please know that today's post does not mean ALL men. However, from my experience in dealing with women and then transitioning to men - you'll find these tips worth reading.  Hopefully this will help in whatever corner of the world you may live.

1.  Men do not communicate with emotion.
Ephesians 5:33, "Each one of you also must love his wife... and the wife must respect her husband."

Men rarely use exclamation marks, smiley faces, or half smiley faces.  Some of the emails I received came across brash and to the point.

On the flip, when dealing with women, smiley faces are how we communicate... along with lots of other emotion in our emails.  But men desire respect.  My husband once told me, "It's not manly to put a smiley face at the end of my emails." 

I agree. 

So know in advance, if you desire to have a man's respect, I would encourage you NOT to communicate with alot of emotion.  (If any)  But get straight to the point.

2.  Men are bottom-liners. 
Ecclesiastes 5:3, "... so let your words be few."

My mentor once told me, "Tara, your husband is not your girlfriend.  Tell him what you want and get to the point.  Share the fun details with your girlfriends."

Same is true in business with men.

Drop the pleasantries and get to the point when dealing with men.  Men get overwhelmed when you give them T.M.I. (too much information) and may only scan or possibly delete the email all together.

3.  Men honor their commitment.
Matthew 5:37, "Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'No,' 'No.'

This is not to say that women do not honor their commitments, many women do.  But let me use our Iron Sharpens Iron luncheon as a comparison. 

Most every month, we have no less than 10 who commit to coming... and then they never show.  (Hence, why we reward paying in advance.  Otherwise we have to pay once we RSVP for them.)  However,  I understand.  Life happens.

So to my surprise, every man who committed to being a Team Captain - kept his commitment.  AND every man who committed to playing - on a Monday (not a very good day for a business person) - to support a women's ministry - came!  Every one of them.

At the last minute, 3 men could not come - but found someone to come in their place.  I WAS VERY IMPRESSED.

This is not a slam against women, I'm simply encouraging you: When working with men, let your 'Yes' be 'Yes' and your 'no', 'no.'  It helps drive respect.  They do not do wishy-washyness at all.

4.  Men are not last minute.

As a whole, I found that men respond quicker than women. 

From my first email blast, 6 weeks prior to the event, 90% responded. 

With our luncheon, we send out an invitation 10 days in advance.  Generally, 10% respond to this first email.  The Tuesday and Wednesday emails that we send prior to the Friday luncheon, is when we receive 90% response.  (As a planner, this does tend to freak me out.  But for the last 2 years, God has been faithful.  And our luncheon is growing.  But the trend I've experienced is this: women (as a whole) are more last minute.  Men are planners. 

Keep this in mind.  They will get very frustrated with you if you expect them to operate last minute.  Give them advance notice.

5.  Men do not want multiple email reminders. 
Judges 16:16, "With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death."

I asked my husband to send another email to a specific group of men. There were several men I thought would play, but had not responded.   "Perhaps they just need a little nudge, I told him.   "This is what works for our luncheons."

He quickly responded, "No. If a man can do it, he'll respond to the first email.   I'm not going to nag them."

Interesting...

Unless it's new information, men DO NOT  want or need multiple reminders.  It comes across as nagging.  Be careful!

Clearly - there are many other differences in dealing with men.  These are the 5 biggies that I encountered.  God made both sexes unique -

Share differences you've experienced...

Have a great day:)