Flying Far, Far Away!

Psalm 55:6

"Oh, how I wish I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness."

I am leaving today to go to the quiet of the wilderness!

I'm not boarding an airplane, but am climbing into my car and driving far, far away to the mountains of West Virginia. My mother-in-law, my children, and I are headed to a state park called Pipe Stem. My husband and father-in-law come Wednesday. It'll probably be the closest I'll ever come to camping.

We are staying in cabins in the woods. Lots of hiking, biking, swimming, and horseback riding. I expect to see lots of wildlife. This is totally out of my element. I'm a beach girl, but I am really excited about the change of pace. (By the way, these are air-conditioned cabins!) But the daytime highs are only in the 80's! Loving that!

I hope you guys have a great week. I'll miss talking to you. See you next week :)

Love,

Thank you!

Our mascot and a friend that I have not seen in at least 5 years! So good to see Anita:)

A BIG THANK YOU to everyone who was able to come to Chick-fil-A last Thursday night!

We had a great time and a steady group through 8:00! What a blessing! I was honestly concerned no one was going to show up. I guess it's one of those throw a party things and hope someone wants to come!

Your participation and support are so appreciated. We are working on things behind the scenes that we can't wait to unveil in the coming months! Your support helps us do those things.

Many of you brought your families. I was touched to meet your husbands because I knew that Chick-fil-A might not have been their dream dinner. Yet they were such good sports. Thank them again for me.

The other cool things about the event were: 1st--I noticed old friends reconnecting either after a summer apart or perhaps after years apart. That was neat to see. 2nd--I got to meet many of you! Becca, Sandy, Stephanie, Kelly, (I know I'm missing some people - please forgive me if I am.) it was really neat to meet you guys. You introduced yourself as one of the readers. I can't tell you how much this thrills my heart! Sometimes, I feel like I pour my life into this little internet engine and I wonder if anyone is even listening. So thank you. (Sweet gift from Jesus!)

If you were not able to come, not to worry. I'm sure we'll do it again. Thank you for your kind notes.

The Raffle!

We also had a raffle. Thank you to everyone who participated! The winners of the raffle are:

Starbucks Gift Card: Sandy Barnes

Starbucks Gift Card: Holly Ingram

Starbucks Gift Card: Sandie Rogers

Redesigned Bible Study, Intimacy with God: Ellen Stevens

The New Prayer Journal: Joy Wall

A YEAR of FREE Chick-fil-A Chicken Sandwiches: Ellen Stevens

Below are few pictures from the evening. I wish there could have been more snapshots, but when my husband took our children home, I lost my photographer, my son, Will!

Teenagers came! Loved meeting them. This is Eric (in the back), Ryan and Rachel.

This is Caroline sipping a yummy peach milkshake with my mother across the table.

This is a friend, Laura, and her son.

Everyone in line was with us!

In the background, in the yellow shirt, you can see Hannah. Hannah has been God's gift to me this summer. She just graduated from Liberty University in May with a Masters in English. She's been my intern this summer. One of the many things she does is edit my blogs.
Pray she gets a job that allows her to stay with us. God willing, you'll be seeing more of her!

Me, with Maggie (behind me), Carol, and Melody. Maggie and Melody are on both my team and my board of directors.

This is Dina. She's on my team and is my accountant. She has 4 children and home schools. She has an amazing heart for Jesus and for women. I'm incredibly blessed to have her on my team. (Every woman on my team is a blessing.)

These are 2 of Dina's girls with me. They had a blast running around in the cow outfit!

Thank you again for not only coming, but bringing your families too! It was a blessing to connect in person!

Love,

3 Reasons We "Can't"

Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord."

Two weeks on submission? Really? I would never have planned this - only by the leading of the Holy Spirit have I spent so much time on it. Clearly, someone besides me needed these messages.

This week we've seen the FRUIT of a life lived in obedience to God's marriage principles. Today, we'll discuss our problem to submission. (Please know, I still battle this.) Tomorrow, I'll share the solution.

According to Nancy, there are 3 reasons we do not want to accept our responsibility with submission.

Reason #1: We do not want our "nest" disturbed.

In other words, we do not want to cut back on the budget; we don't like being told what to do, especially when we think we are right! We don't want to stop teaching Sunday school or give up a ministry or give up what we think is something we rightfully deserve. Perhaps it's girls' night out our husband is asking us to cut back on.

But from Nancy's story, we saw her husband having no regard for her feelings when they moved to Omaha. She lost her ministry, her nearness to her children, her close proximity to her Dad, her home, and all her friends. But notice that she refused the "woe is me" attitude when her husband moved them. The result: a sweeter and fruitful marriage, ministry, and, eventually, her husband's salvation!

Reason #2: Women are generally controllers.

In Genesis 3, God said, "your desire will be for your husband." Nancy says her interpretation of this is that a wife desires the rulership God gave man as a result of the fall. Most women want control!

Is this true of you? As of today, I can truly testify that God has delivered me from being the domineering controller I used to be. If it were not so detrimental to marriage, my past antics would almost be comical; perhaps I'll share a few of those stories in future posts. But in the meantime, are you a control freak? Do you always have to have your way? Do you always have to have the last word? Do you always have to be "right?"

Reason #3: Our vocabulary is "I can't" not "I won't".

When we change our vocabulary from a self preserving response of "I can't" to saying, "No, I won't obey God in this," we have a whole new mindset. Remember, Scripture says that it is ultimately GOD we are serving and submitting to. (The "God clause" from last week - remember?) Act the way the Bible says is correct and your feelings will catch up to your actions.

Nancy goes on to say that a married woman's first ministry is to her husband. Why in the world would such a woman be given other ministries if she negates His first? (Please know that we are not talking about men who request her to do immoral or illegal things, just everyday things that might annoy her.)

Tomorrow: The secret to success!

The Rest of the Story

Don't Forget!

Thursday, July 21st

Chick-fil-A

Cary Towne Center

4:30-7:30pm

Your participation will help us launch:

Workshops

Ladies Lunches

Women's Leadership Lunches

Conferences

Our vision is to grow the Body of Christ using Biblical principles and resources for women. It all starts with the heart of the home - YOU!

Items to be raffled off:

One year supply of Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches!

The newly redesigned Prayer Journals - great for either gender - perfect for the one who wants a closer walk with Jesus.

The newly - soon to be introduced - redesigned Bible Study: Intimacy with God: Establishing a Vibrant Quiet Time and Prayer Life!

Starbucks gift cards - nothing sweeter than Starbucks and your Bible in your lap!

1 Corinthians 11:3

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Today, I'm picking back up where our story left off yesterday. To refresh your memory...

Nancy's husband, Ray, had lost his job as a corporate president upon the company having been sold. And after being unemployed for months, he accepted a job in Omaha, Nebraska (far from Raleigh, NC, and also far from her children, her father, her ministry, and her friends). Her life had been in Raleigh, and now she was moving to what felt like the other side of the world.

The story picks up here! Grab your tissue...

"I chose - please note the choice of words, "I CHOSE" - to leave Raleigh cheerfully. My husband had been miserable for months. He was mad all the time. He seemed to only focus on himself. Yet I was resolved to help my husband regain the joy in his life (Don't forget, the Bible says that the woman's role is be a helper - Genesis 2:18). So we left everything and moved to Omaha.

Once in Omaha, I told Ray he could choose the church we would attend. He chose the one closest to us. (What a blessing as it was the church I wanted to attend!) But the amazing thing is, it was at that point in our relationship that we both started to fly. Ray LOVED his job. He later told me that this was his favorite job ever!

And around the same time, the Lord opened a door for me to go on staff at our church as Women's Ministry Director. I served for 12 years and had 33 leaders serving under my leadership. By the grace of God, the ministry soared!

God allowed me to write 4 books on marriage and appear on local and national television. I did 100's of radio interviews around the country and even had my own segment on the radio ministering to women about marriage. God honored the sacrifice I had made to joyfully leave everything I loved - even when I didn't want to go. This became a very special time in our marriage and to us professionally.

A few years later, Ray was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Months before he died, he said, "I'm dedicating to you Alan Jackson's song, 'Stroll Along in Heaven with You'." Then he asked me, "how will I find you in heaven when you die?"

I asked him if he thought he was going to heaven. He said he wasn't sure. I then asked if I could share the Gospel with him, which he had heard many times, yet I don't know if he had ever truly accepted Christ. So, I shared the Gospel and he accepted Christ!

At his funeral, we played that song. Truly, in the end, submission won!"

Throughout Nancy's story, I hope you picked up on how God honored her obedience to Him by her resolve to submit to and to help her husband.

She made this comment to me recently, and I'll just pass it along, "there will be times you will not want to or feel like submitting to his leadership, but you do it out of obedience to the Lord, TRUSTING AND KNOWING that God WILL honor your actions. Make a choice to do it; your emotions will eventually catch up."

Have a great day. Hope to see you at Chick-fil-A!

Who's the Leader Here Anyway?

JOIN US!

Thursday, July 21st

4:30-7:30pm

Chick-fil-A, Cary Towne Center

It's going to be really hot outside, so come grab a refreshing peach milkshake.

One of the primary purposes of Knowing God Ministries is to help you - the heart of the home - build stronger homes and stronger families through a personal relationship with Christ.

Through Bible studies, prayer journals, marriage books, girls' lunches and conferences, we can learn how to live with purpose so that we can have a greater impact on our co-workers, our friends, our neighbors, and the next generation.

...But launching a ministry is not cheap to do! It costs lots of money.

We NEED YOUR HELP!

So we came up with a fun way to connect with each other AND to help KGM launch

life-impacting initiatives this fall.

CFA is so gracious. They are donating 20% of the sales to Knowing God Ministries.

Several team members and I will be there to thank you. Make sure you tell them you are with KGM!

(Back to the story!)

Who's the Leader Here Anyway?

2 Corinthians 11:3

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."

Several of you sent letters last week asking about spiritual leadership in the home. The Bible says that our husbands are to be the spiritual leader of the home, not us. Yet quite often, reality is different. God created the woman to be the heart of the home. And He created man to be the leader.

I know that some of you have husbands that refuse to go to church with you, much less be the spiritual leader of the home. When that happens, what's a girl to do?

In today's post, you will see how Nancy Cobb (see yesterday's post for more details about this sweet woman) answers the question of spiritual leadership in the home. The answer might not be what you want to hear. But you will see from her story that it works. Be inspired.



"In those first years, I thought something was wrong with Ray. His personality was not mine - which I thought seemed perfect. If only he could be more like me... But then after 23 years of marriage, and having been in the organized church for much of my life, I met Christ. As I spent time with Him, in His Word, my thinking and behavior began to change.

Even as a rookie Christian, I knew that I was not to be the spiritual leader of the family. So what I did was privately surrender my control to Jesus and to Ray. I didn't tell him. I just did it. What does surrender control mean? I resolved to live out God's principle's for marriage, which includes submission.


In those early days, Ray said I could go to Bible study, but he never wanted to see me with my notes or have my Bible out where he could see it. I made no comment. This was between the Lord and him. I did what Ray said.


Within a year, Ray joined a Bible study and was divinely placed under the leadership of a very godly man whom he respected.

I asked Ray if he wanted to go to church with me. I had been going alone. He said he would if our son would go as well. I asked our son and he said he'd go if I bought him a sport coat. Right after that we all went as a family. He told me later that he wanted to go to a different church. I don't think he knew how to articulate it, but he wanted a Bible teaching church - not the church we were currently attended that was rich in ritual, yet lacked real teaching.

Ray would often say no to casual requests and I went along with his directives. For example, one day my dad called. He was going to have elective surgery and asked if I could take care of him in Virginia. Ray said that I couldn't go that week, but could the next. I told Ray that I wanted to go. His response was that I had just been at a 3 day retreat, and he was lonely. God says in His Word, "It is not good that man should be ALONE. I will make him a helper" (Genesis 2:18).


When I called my dad, he said, "That's ok dear, I'll have a neighbor take care of me." Feeling horrible, I called my sister and asked if she could go. She not only went, but for the first time ever, my dad and sister bonded. If I had dismissed Ray's request, their relationship would never have had a chance. They would have missed this sweet blessing if I hadn't honored my husband's request and submitted to it.

And then disaster struck.


After years and years of serving as president of a company, the business sold and he lost his job. After trying for 7 long months to find a job in our home town, Ray finally called his friend in Omaha, who gave him a very prestigious job. At that time, Ray was so mad at life. All he noticed was himself.

But I did not want to move. I lost my ministry, nearness to my children, close proximity to my Dad, our home, and all my friends. Was this God's plan for me?

Wait till you see what happened when I cheerfully left Raleigh, dedicating my life to helping my husband regain his joy in living."

Tomorrow: The Rest of the Story!

Make sure you have a tissue in hand :)

Role Models

Philippians 4:9

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

Do you believe we live in an era that's desperate for positive, godly role models? If the Housewives of Orange County, or New Jersey, or Atlanta are what we are learning and putting into practice - we are doomed for dysfunction.

A few months ago, I got to meet a woman whose books radically changed my thinking and my marriage. This woman was my mentor, though, I'd never met her in person. In fact, I used to use her books like how-to manuals. I would refer to her - to my friends - by her first name, Nancy, as if she was my BFF. She didn't know me from Adam's house cat.

So when she walked into my first Iron Sharpens Iron Meeting in April and introduced herself, I nearly fell over! She had no idea - no clue - about the impact she had had on my life and my marriage. And there she was, staring me in the face! What a sweet gift from Jesus for Him to allow me to meet someone who so profoundly changed the course of my life.

This dear woman I am referring to is Nancy Cobb. She is the co-author of The Politically Incorrect Wife, How to Get your Husband to Talk to you, Is There a Moose in your Marriage, and The Best Thing I Ever Did for My Marriage.

Nancy accepted Christ when she was 42 years old. She had 4 children in 5 years. (Yikes!) She was the teaching leader for Bible Study Fellowship in Raleigh, NC for several years before moving to Omaha, Nebraska where she served as director of Women's Ministry in her church for 12 years. She managed a staff of 33. She's appeared on local and national television; she's done 100's of radio interviews around the country and even had her own radio segment devoted entirely to marriage.

The really neat thing about Nancy's story is that, as Paul Harvey used to say, "and that's the rest of the story." She can share the rest of the story. She can share the rest of the story following years of living out God's principle of submission. You see, her husband's faith became sight 3 years ago - when Ray went to be with Jesus. So she has a perspective on submission that truly tells the "rest of the story." In other words, her perspective is different because she CHOSE to respond in a completely radical way despite what many of her friends may have been doing or thinking at the time.

Nancy responded to a few of my blog posts last week. Her comments MUST be shared. (BTW -I asked for permission!) I also asked what her thoughts were on submission and spiritual leadership in the family. (Several of you sent notes to me indicating that YOU are the spiritual leader in the home. This may be the case for many of you.) This week, thanks to Nancy, we'll cover this.

So hang with me each day; you will not want to miss a single post of a woman whose actions we CAN put into practice, a woman who we can emulate! And when we do, we are promised a peace that comes only from God Himself from within our homes.

God willing,

Wednesday: Spiritual Leadership in the Home

Thursday: The Rest of the Story

Friday: 3 Reasons we just Can't or Won't

Don't Forget:

Chick-fil-A; Cary Towne Center, Cary NC

Thursday, July 21st - 4:30-7:30pm

Can't wait to meet you in person :)

Chicken and Witches

Women, wives, mothers - bring your family and friends to Chick-fil-A @ Cary Towne Center:

Thursday, July 21st

4:30-7:30pm

for an evening of fun, fellowship, and exciting give-aways!

As friends and supporters of Knowing God Ministreis, I wanted to personally invite you to our first fundraising event! Your presence will help us launch exciting, life-changing Knowing God Ministries initiatives into the community this fall.

Our vision is to help women and Christian leaders to not only know about God, but to KNOW HIM PERSONALLY, and for their lives, their families, and areas of influence to be impacted as a result of this relationship.

Bring your family or a friend for dinner or just for one of Chick-fil-A's new yummy peach milkshakes! I'd love to meet you if I don't already know you.

*Be sure to say you are there for Knowing God Ministries to ensure we receive the donation*

Hosea 4:6

My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.

Do you have a keen sense of personal space? I do! I'm almost a little neurotic about it.

As soon as someone broaches my threshold, I slowly begin backing up. First with my head and shoulders, then with my feet until the person is out of my space. (Deep down, I think it's a fear of bad breath!) The same is true of today's post. I'm concerned that you'll perceive it as getting a tad too far into your personal space. But my calling is to build up the Body of Christ, to grow the Body to maturity.

Today's post is something that the Lord has been searing on my heart ever since I began seeing the posters and ads for Harry Potter. So, if I'm in your personal space, take it up with the Lord. I'm merely the messenger.

So are you a Harry Potter fan? Will you be joining the masses this weekend in viewing this much anticipated flick?

Years ago, before I had children of my own, I taught a 4th grade Sunday School class in the church we were members of at the time. I'll never forget when the Director of Children's Ministry organized an outing - church buses full of kids - to watch the first Harry Potter movie ever released.

Something about that didn't feel right. The best way to explain it was a lack of peace. So I remember going to the Word to see what God had to say on the subject of witchcraft. I found He says much on the subject. I'll merely share a few.

Deuteronomy 18:10 -

Do not let your people practice fortune-telling, or use sorcery, or interpret omens, or engage in witchcraft.

1 Samuel 15:23 -

Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols.

2 Chronicles 33:6 -

Manasseh practiced sorcery, divination, and witchcraft and he consulted with mediums and psychics. He did much that was evil in the Lord's sight, arousing His anger.

Revelation 21:8 -

But cowards, unbelievers, the corrupt, murderers, the immoral, those who practice witchcraft, idol worshippers, and all liars - their fate is in the fiery lake of burning sulfur.

Yikes! Surely, sweet and handsome Harry Potter wouldn't rouse the anger of the Lord. It's just an innocent movie; it's make believe. Can't we have any fun?

Girlfriend, the devil is so subtle, so smooth. The Bible says that Satan masquerades as an angel of light (2 Cor. 11:14). There's a whole world religion that practices witchcraft called Wicca. There are an estimated 500,000 people in North America who are practicing Wiccans. Wiccans often practice magic to exert supernatural influence on the world and people.

Do you see the trail? "Harry Potter is so cool! I wanna be like him! Or, I wanna date someone like him. Oh, what do you know, there's a religion where I can find someone like him!"

I met with a woman earlier this week whose ex daughter-in-law is a Wiccan and forbids her children (my friend's grandchildren) from going to church or learning about Jesus.

Based on what I see in God's Word, Harry Potter is dangerous.

The Bible says, "My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge." Protect yourself and your kids from falling under the spell of precious Harry Potter.

Submission - Lived Out in Everyday life

Ephesians 5:22

Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

So, what does submission look like in everyday life?

First of all, let me give an example of what it's NOT:

Yelling and saying a cuss word at your husband like I did a few weeks ago. This only led to immediate regret and although I WAS RIGHT, I was the one who ended up apologizing! (Sorry if I've disappointed you. I'm growing just as you are.)

A better example:

One of my first opportunities to practice submission came over the issue of money. At the time, I handled all the bills. One night, my husband and I had a big disagreement over the allocation of funds. The disagreement got heated. I thought one way was best. He thought another way and no one was budging. As usual for that period of time, I stomped off in a huff.

Sulking, I began thinking about our strengths. Finance has never been one of my strong suites. On the other hand, he has a graduate degree in business and is a numbers guru. Case closed. Who's idea was best? Clearly his.

I ate humble pie and told him that even though I thought my way was best, that his way was probably better and that we should do it his way. (I must say, humble pie that first time nearly choked me. But once it was out, it felt pretty good. I also had an immediate peace in my heart.)

Now, for the "God clause!"
When you and your husband totally disagree and no one is budging, someone must budge. This is when I apply the "God clause." Do you know what the "God clause" is?

Notice that Ephesians says, "submit to your husbands as to the Lord" (italics mine).
The Bible says that the one to budge is the wife - and we do it as to the Lord. I have prayed, many times, "Lord, as unto You.... I do not agree with this, but because Your Word says that I am the one to cave - I cave to You. (There have been some battles that I added "because I cannot cave to him.") I've gotten better at it though!

Girlfriend, God honors this. It gets His attention. This is obedience to His Word. It is not old-fashioned and His Word is not outdated. But when marriages all around us are falling apart - even Christian marriages - we need something that works. Our kids need something that works. The world's way and the modern feminist's way are not working. Actually, I think the modern feminist movement emasculates the man's role in the family. (That's another day's post.)

If you've read my blog post for long then you know, I am not a door mat. I'm just an ordinary woman, who has come to know an extraordinary God. His ways and His principles work. Submission, like it or not, is one of God's principles for marriage.

I, for one, like the principle - because it takes the responsibility off of me and places it on him!

Tomorrow:

A special announcement!

AND

Harry Potter

De-Heading the 2-Headed Monster

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

After yesterday's post, were you awakened to a possible monster in your house?

If so, then in an effort to de-head this 2 headed monster, we need to focus on our job description in marriage. One of the descriptions of our job is submitting to our husbands as to the Lord.

Submission requires strength. Submission is not for the weak; it requires discipline and supernatural strength from God Himself. And may I say, the days that the 2-headed monster rears it's ugly head in my home are on the days that I've failed to spend time with Jesus. Spending time with Him prepares us and gives us the supernatural strength that submission requires. Not only that, but spending time with the Lord gives us joy and peace in the process.

Nancy Cobb, in her book, The Politically Incorrect Wife, says "that we are responsible for our roles. Your husband is responsible for his. What if you do your job, but he doesn't do his? This is between him and the Father. God will deal with a disobedient or ungodly husband. Your concern is whether or not you're doing your job well, and you can gauge this by your obedience."

Are you willing to be obedient to God's principle's for marriage?

Keep in mind, if you have children in the home, YOU and your husband are their role models. How you behave and treat their father will determine their view for marriage and quite possibly the outcome of their marriage. For example, if your daughter sees you disrespecting and usurping her father's authority - you can unwittingly be setting your daughter up to be in a loveless marriage. How? Because she, in turn, will walk all over her husband. How can a man that was created to crave respect truly love his wife if he is perpetually disrespected?

The same is true for your son. You may be setting a precedent for your son to be a spineless worm who looks for a domineering woman who will eventually take away his manhood by being the head of the home. I see it everywhere in our culture - in politics, at the mall, in the church! Men who are now silent because their wives are running the show!

Yesterday, before my children and I began our day, we started in prayer. I looked to Will and said, "Will you open us?" He responded by begrudgingly saying, "why do I always have to open us in prayer?" (Meanwhile, my daughter was in the background saying, "I'll start!") With these posts in mind, the Lord led me to respond, "Because I am raising you to be a man. And a man is to be the spiritual leader of his home. Now open us in prayer."

Girls, it takes a strong woman to submit. Let me say it again, a strong woman. But when we obey God, He will bless obedience. And you will have a sense of peace knowing you have done your job well in God's eyes. Furthermore, the consequences of the decision now fall on your husband, not you!

Next 2 posts:

Examples of what submission looks like in the home.

Harry Potter?

Do You Have a Monster in Your House?

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

So, I could tell from Friday's post, we need more on the subject of submission. But let me ask you: are you willing to "hear" with your heart what Biblical submission really is? Or are you merely going to delete this post because - certainly - it will not, does not, nor will it EVER pertain to you?


If you are married to an unbeliever or even if you are married to a believer, but you find yourself in a loveless marriage, then I would encourage you to revisit God's principles for marriage.

God does not give us a bunch of rules to be mean or for us to live in bondage. God's rules, or "principles for marriage," are intended to bring order, peace, and joy into the home. They are meant for our good and for our protection. Just as Henry Ford created the first automobile and knew how it worked inside and out, God created marriage. He created man and woman. God knows what works best.

With that said, are you a little more calm now about the subject of submission?! Are you willing to receive what it is as God intends for it to be?

God loves us so much. His principle for submission is not intended to make us second-class citizens. We have to trust His principles for marriage even though those principles may run in complete contradiction to how we operate or think. Let's look at the Biblical definition for submission. I found this definition in Nancy Cobb's and Connie Grigsby's book, "The Politically Incorrect Wife."

Submission is voluntarily cooperating with another out of love and respect for God and for that person.

Notice that no where in the definition did it include the words "inferior" or "less than." God has given us a chain of command within the home.

"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God" (1 Cornthians 11:3).

In other words, the man is in charge of the home. The woman is second in command.

Do you remember back during the Clinton presidency (his 1st term) when we were told that Hillary was a "co-president?" That we got 2 for the price of 1? (Lucky us!) Remember how that went over in the public? Not too well.

The same is true in the family. There is a head and a co-head. I've never forgotten how my friend, Fayeson, has described this: "2 heads make a monster." So if you have 2 people trying to do the same job, chances are, you've got a monster in the house.

Do you have a monster in your house?

Coming up:

Focusing on your job description and modeling it for your children.

What submission looks like in everyday life...

Harry Potter...

Married to an Unbeliever?

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

I've wondered if anyone reading my last two posts has begun to identify with exactly what not to do in marriage?

That perhaps you've realized - maybe for the first time - that your husband is not a true believer in Jesus Christ. That perhaps he goes to church each week and has done all the denomination requirements, but by his everyday behavior and attitude, you can tell that this God thing is a Sunday thing.

And with that thought, I'm concerned that you feel hopeless.

So what do you do when you realize that you are married to an unbeliever? Divorce him? Hardly! Beat him over the head with your Bible and impress him with all your Jesus knowledge? (I wouldn't do that either - it'll backfire! Trust me.)

Let me give you some hope, dear sister. Scripture gives us some very specific directions in winning our lost men.

1 Peter 3:1 - "Wives, in the same way, be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." (emphasis mine)

(Do we need another lesson on submission? It's culture's bad word, but it works. Email me if we need another lesson on this very important and vital subject.)

1 Peter 3:4 - "Our beauty should be that of our inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Choose to be a gentle woman.

When you study the life of Jesus in the gospels, you see that He loved people into the Kingdom. He didn't beat 'em over the head. In fact, I'm blown away by how the worst of sinners were drawn to Him. How can you be drawn to someone who makes you feel condemned or guilty? (Please don't confuse with condoning wrong behavior.) Jesus loved them and then presented truth.

There is so much that can be said on this subject. But the point today is to encourage you - for you to know that there is hope.

Let me close with one of my favorite Scriptures:
Joel 2:25 - "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten."

Even if you've blown it with your own marriage, there's hope dear sister. Start doing things God's way and the times that are hard - maybe even miserable - God is able to redeem and repay these locust eating years.

Intentionally Directing our Children in Marriage

Genesis 24:3

"I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."

When you read the opening segment of Genesis 24, we learn that Abraham was "old and advanced in years." However, instead of kicking back and coasting through his last years, he was intentional about making sure that his son DID NOT marry any of the unbelieving women around him. Why? Because the God he had taught his son to love and obey would be forever compromised if he married one of the girls in the neighborhood.

So Abraham commanded his servant to find a wife from his "own relatives." In other words, find a wife from within the family for Isaac. We are to do the same thing. We are to instruct our children to marry within the family of God.

What priorities are you helping your children set for selecting their spouses? Are you steering them to make decisions based on:

• Certain backgrounds?


• Certain financial means?


• Certain professional means?


• Certain educational levels?


• Certain political views? (I'm certainly guilty of this one!)


• A certain social status?

In an effort to direct our children not to be unequally yoked, I'll share some specific things I learned and am practicing after reading Anne Lotz's, Magnificent Obsession, Embracing the God-Filled Life.

As Christian parents, we need to:

• Direct our children to connect with Christian friends, since they will likely choose a friend to date.


• Limit their dating to Christians, since most likely they will marry someone they have dated.


• Urge them to not go to certain places where temptations may be more than they can handle.


• Encourage them to marry someone who shares not just their religion, their denomination, their traditions, or their education, but their passion - someone who loves Jesus with all of his or her heart, mind and soul.

Abraham's priority was spiritual. Ours should be too. If our children end up with someone who is not truly godly, how will our faith and our personal relationship with Jesus be passed on to our grandchildren?

Next post: What to do if you realize YOU are unequally yoked.

Your Child's Future Spouse

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

Over the last month, we've discussed ways to fight for the souls of our children so that our baton of faith can be passed successfully to the next generation. With that in mind, has the thought of their future spouse even entered your mind? (Unless God has called them to singleness.)

Do you realize the impact that a wife wields over a husband and a mother wields over her children? Or just the opposite - the influence a husband wields over the wife and a father over his children?

Throughout the Bible, God specifically commanded His people, "You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods." (1 Kings 11:2) Hence, do not be yoked together with an unbeliever.

When your adult child marries an unbeliever, the baton of your faith can be suddenly stopped. What does light have in common with darkness? In other words, the unequally yoked couple may have a difficult time agreeing as to:

• their priorities with money

• if they go to church

• where they go to church (a Bible teaching church)


• how they spend their time


• ways to be entertained


• their priorities and values


• the possible raising of spiritually indifferent children

The baton of faith that we could be pouring into our children could come into great jeopardy, unless we are intentional in our directions for marriage. Are you giving your child directions for marriage?

Tomorrow I'll share practical directions to begin sharing now!

Do Your Kids Know You are Praying?

Proverbs 1:3

"...for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right

and just and fair;"

Today we'll wrap up this week's segment of ways to pray for our children. I hope you have been as challenged as I have been.

Ways to pray for them academically:

• That they would work hard at everything they do (Col 3:23)


• That they would be self-disciplined in every area of their lives (Proverbs 1:3)


• That they would have a servant's heart (John 13)

Ways to pray physically:

• For sexual purity until marriage (1 Cor. 6:18-20)


• That they would be protected from drugs, alcohol and tobacco (Proverbs 20:1,23)


• That they will befriend the lonely, the discouraged, and the lost (Matt. 25:40)


• That they would have a clear knowledge of right and wrong and choose what is right (Proverbs 1:3)


• That they would stand firm in their convictions - and be able to withstand peer pressure. (Eph. 4:14)

I received the most interesting email yesterday from a reader in Charlotte, NC. It goes perfectly with what we've talked about this week and needs to be shared.

She asked her middle school Sunday school students if they thought their parents prayed for them. (She says she knows their parents personally. Many of them are close friends.) All but one said they did not know if their parents prayed for them or not. She was shocked!

How can we as mothers fix that perception?

She goes on to say that there is something about middle school that leaves children doubting everything in life - much of this is attributed to the hormonal and physical changes that are happening to their bodies.

A challenge for the parent of the middle schooler...we need to make sure our kids KNOW we are praying for them.

Well said! I wonder if my kids know that I'm praying for them? I would think so. With that note, I'll make sure I tell them and tell them often!

See you next Wednesday - we'll be talking about our kids' future spouses and what we need to be doing right now in childhood.

Have a great 4th of July weekend! (My son did this!!!)