Spiritual Leadership - Who's in Charge?

 

Looking for a fun summer activity?

Join other women who have purchased the "Marriage Bundle" from our luncheons and are gathering in homes and churches to listen, to take notes, and to discuss! 

5 weeks/5 lessons

No homework - except application of what's learned!

Make it fun!  Have everyone bring a dessert or appetizer to share!

Click here to order!

Today is a continuation from a "glimpse" inside our May luncheon, "Ask the Experts." 

Question #2:  Currently, I'm the spiritual leader of our home.  How can I make this change so that my husband becomes the leader?

Nancy:  When I first began going to Bible study, my husband did not even want to see my Bible.  He told me that he didn't mind if I did it, but to keep it away from him.  So before he came home from work each day, I'd stuff my Bible and supplies under the sofa so that he couldn't see them. 

At the same time, I began submitting to his authority in the  home and would talk about how great he was in front of the children.  ( So that he could hear.)  When my children would ask me a question, I would often refer them to their father - so that everyone in the home knew that we all submitted to dad.

I also promoted him in my heart to be the spiritual leader of the home.  I also allowed him to choose the church we attended.

Gwen:  I prayed for 17 years.  I stopped nagging.  When God began growing Jeff, he grew up fast!  Yet I raised our 4 sons as God commanded.

Autumn:  PRAYER!  If your husband is a believer, then you are both growing at different rates.  It is God's desire more than yours that your husband become the spiritual leader of your home.  So pray and do not give up.

Question #3:  It's my desire that my husband and I pray together - that we would be on the same page and do something big for God together - how?

Autumn:  You are doing the big thing!  If you are praying for your husband and serving your family wholeheartedly - this is the big thing.  You're staying together - you're not quitting.  Be encouraged.  God is at work! 

Nancy:  Why would God grow our ministries when we have not even gotten the first one right?  Your first ministry is to your husband - then to your children...

Question 4:  What do you do when alcohol is coming between us?  He gets angry...

Nancy:  If a woman is verbally/physically abused - she should leave and get help.

Autumn:  There's a wounded place in his heart - he most likely is turning to alcohol to mask the pain and fear.  Ask the Lord to show you how to pray and what to do.  The Holy Spirit will tell you.  You are called to be his helpmate.  So the "Helper," the Holy Spirit, will help you and give you insight. Then do it.

Gwen:  You can't reason when he's drinking - so don't try.  Tell him that you will talk with him later.  Pray for him - ask the Lord to deliver him from this bondage.  Our God is a BIG God and can do anything.

These questions only represent a few of the highlights! 

Make plans now to attend our next luncheon: 

August 10, 2012 - "The Language of Love," 

Speaker:  Suzi McDuffee

Pornography - What do we do?

Question #1: 

"What do you when you've caught your husband looking at porn?"

At our May Iron Sharpens Iron luncheon, we invited the ladies who had spoken in previous months to do a Q&A panel discussion.  We entitled it:

Ask the Experts!

Initially, I was nervous about the format.  We had never done this before.  What if there were no questions asked - 40 minutes is a long time!   People have paid money to attend.  At KGM, we are committed to bringing value to your everyday life.

In response to prayer, we had quite the opposite - time ran out!   I'm convinced if we had allotted another hour - no one would have moved.  It was such an insightful meeting! 

The questions were raw...  They were real...  They dealt with issues that many of today's women face.

We've recorded the lunch.  The quality is okay.  This is the part that keeps me from making it available to you.  We desire to do everything with excellence to the best of our ability.  If you are okay with mediocre sound quality - let me know.   If enough of you desire it - we will make it available.  It's the information that's of such great value.

In the meantime, here's a glimpse into our meeting...

Question #1:   How do you respond when you've caught your husband looking at porn?  (The question was asked in the context of 1st time.  Not as an ongoing issue.)

Autumn:   "Stay calm.  If you go off,  it will not help the situation.  This is not about you.  Often women blame themselves.   But you must understand, this is NOT your fault. This is his stuff.   You must realize the enemy has lied, manipulated and tricked him.

He needs accountability to other men.  In other words, he needs to have godly men around him who will hold him accountable.  If he does not have godly friends, PRAY them into his life.  Pray that God will establish these friendships.  In the long run, accountability from another man is better received than from you.

Gwen:  "Confront him lovingly.  Anytime a spouse is looking at another in a lustful way - this is sin. Tell him this is sin.  That this defiles your marriage and your marriage bed.  And that this hurts your marriage.

If he is repentant, place safe guards need to be put in place - a filtered internet.  Yet, filters do not change the heart issue.  Porn is a heart issue.  You must pray for the purity of his heart.


Nancy:  "Forgive him.  If you choose forgiveness, God will go after him.  Then you must start praying for your husband.

A member of our audience added:  (Which I thought was an out of the box point - and a good one at that!)
"NOTHING is an excuse for porn.  It is his choice.  Yet, are we making it easy for our husbands to fall into sin?

• Do we make home a haven?
• Do we keep our children so involved in everything - wild in activity.  Late bed times for the children...  Everyone exhausted
• Always remember when you husband leaves to go to work - the way you look in the morning is the what he will remember all day.  He may be looking at attractive women all day...  What do you look like when he comes home?
• Are we depriving him sexually?

This leaves a man very vulnerable to the culture.  Home is to be a haven.  Don't allow the busyness of the world creep in."

So much more was said - I've merely hit the high points...

Tomorrow: 

Question #2:

"Currently, I'm the spiritual leader of my home - how do I change this?"

Without Apology

"Within the covers of that single book,  are all the answers to all the problems that face us today...  If we'd only read it and believe..."    

-President Ronald Reagan, referring to the Bible

If you do not have time now to watch this 4 minute, save it and watch it later.  It's worth every minute of your time.

My sweet uncle Jeff just recently shared this with me, knowing I'd love it.  

In a culture that's obsessed with political correctness, I can hardly believe that a United States President is on record saying all that is said here.

How far we have slidden... in the last 20 years.

Regardless if you liked his politics or not - savor the fact that at one point in time, (not so long ago) we had a man that would speak the name of Jesus with great boldness and without apology.   

I pray the day will come again, when God raises up another like him.

Shout out to our Sponsors! More golf Pictures

Shout out to our Sponsor - And more pictures!!!

Proverbs 3:27

"Do not withhold good... when it is in your power to act."

As we close out the week, I'd like to give a shout out to the 11 sponsors - who shared their goodness with Knowing God Ministries.  As they have been a blessing to us - consider being a blessing to them!  Patronize their business - use their goods and services if you have opportunity.

1.  Blaine Holmes - Farm Bureau Insurance, Louisburg

2.  Charles Early - Farm Bureau Insurance, Louisburg

Farm Bureau was our BIG sponsor - they provided gift bags for all of the players; had several teams and sponsored holes.  My family, as does my extended family - has their insurance with Farm Bureau.  Check them out!

3.  Bob and Ellen Stevens - Peace Catalyst International

Peace Catalyst exists to stimulate peacemaking between individuals and people groups.  In a world filled with conflict, Peace Catalyst promotes multi-dimensional reconciliation with God and people.  Two of the greatest areas of conflict in the world today are between Christians and Muslims.  They give special priority to these relationships.

4.  Gayle Early, Realtor, Coldwell Banker

For all your real estate needs - contact Gayle Early @ Coldwell Banker, HPW.  17 years of experience in the Raleigh, Durham, Cary market.

5.  Holly Ladner, Mary Kay Cosmetics

Holly has been with Mary Kay for over 11 years.  She is passionate about helping women find their perfect skin care and color cosmetics.  Connect with Holly if you currently do not have a Mary Kay Consultant.  Have you tried the highlighter?  It's great for under eye dark circles!

 

6.  Hunter Grove, Merrill Lynch Wealth Management
For all your money management solutions.
7.  Neal Newhouse - Transportation Impact
If you currently have a big bill with UPS or FEDEX or the USPS - contact Neal.  They consistently achieve rate reductions between 15 and 25% for their clients.

8.  Tim Payne, Click Optimize
Tim designed my first website and currently manages my husband's business' website.  Their design specialists are super creative.  They do a great job with website management and design as well as video components as well.

9.  Seeds of Mustard Ministries, Thrift 'n Gift
Seeds of Mustard Ministries exist to help children and families in crisis.  Their ultimate goal is sharing the hope of Jesus Christ to the hurt and to the broken.  See www.thriftngift.org for more information. 

10.  Tim Furman, POP Medical
POP Medical, Physicians Own Pharmacy - was created by doctors for doctors to help them save money on everyday medical supplies.

11.  Wayne Williamson, Williamson Insurance & Financial Services, Inc.
Is an independent insurance agency representing several major insurance companies providing many options for your insurances needs.  They serve the greater  Raleigh area including  Apex, Cary, Fuquay Varina, Garner, Holly Springs and Willow Springs.

Melody and Caroline at the registration table.

Part of the dream team!

From left

Hannah Weikert, KGM's intern; Ellen Stevens, Melody Merritt, Autumn Weikert, Kelly Hollis

Front:  Caroline, my daughter - yes, my kids played hookie from school that day.  Anytime I can include them in the ministry - I do!

Do you like our pink shirts? 

Would you like to have one???

From left to right:
Ellen, Autumn, me and Melody

Chilling at the putting green for the putting contest we had!

The day was almost over - we were hungry - but still have a blast together!

Hannah and Caroline were two of our cart girls.  Hannah just turned 16 - Kelly is pretending she's running over her!

Were we having a good time or what???

Awesome day!  Thank you again to all of our sponsors.  We appreciate you and have prayed fervently for you and your business' over the last few weeks.

Have a great weekend!

Still Can't Hear? Golf Pictures!

Update and pictures from our

1st Annual KGM Golf Tournament!

(See below)

1 Samuel 15:22

What is more pleasing to the Lord:  your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice?

Sometimes it's far easier to give our money, perhaps our time in tireless service; our attendance or even right moral living... than to obey the voice of the Lord.  But this is where we have to be careful.

God loves our sacrifices: our tithes; our tireless service; our mission trips;  our attendance and our right moral living...  But what God wants more than anything... is obedience to His voice.

What was the last thing the Lord impressed upon your heart?

Did you do it?

My next door neighbor lost her teenage son a year ago to suicide.  My heart aches for this woman.  My many attempts at reaching out to her have been to no avail.  I pray for her every time I walk Jake past her house or drive up my driveway. 

But recently, the Lord impressed upon my heart to go to Trader Joe's and buy her an orchid. 

Have I done it?

No.  My ministry work has gotten in the way.  The golf tournament that was a huge success (by the grace of God) consumed me last week.  Prior to that, I've been on the road - speaking a various women's events. 

Service?   Tireless service... (And I'm tired!)

Yet as I walked by her house yesterday, I heard in my heart, "You still have not done what I asked you to do."

Listen to the rest of 1 Samuel 15:22
"Obedience is far better than sacrifice.  Listening to Him is much better than offering the fat of rams.  Rebellion is as bad as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshipping idols." 

Yikes!   I'm going to Trader Joe's today.

If you're having a hard time hearing His voice in your quiet time - ask Him, "Lord, where am I not obeying you?"

He loves you so much - He'll be quick to answer.  Just be quick to obey!

"I Still Can't Hear!"

(Don't miss the Prayer Journal training below)

Last week, I shared tips on how to "hear" from God during your quiet time.  If you missed any of those tips - go back - and watch the videos.  They are not meant to be a religious formula - but a mere foundation in establishing a "hearing ear."

This week - Reasons our "hearing" may be dull...

Plus Golf Tournament Pictures!  (God poured down His blessings!!!)  Can't wait to share them!

Next week:  The Recap from our ASK the EXPERTS panel at ISI!  (Such an anointed time!)

Isaiah 66:2

This is the one I esteem:  he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at My Word."

What is your heart attitude as you read your Bible?   A devotion?  A devotional blog?  Or a pastor's sermon?  Does your heart say:

• "I'll obey if it's convenient."
• "If it's easy."
• "I'f I feel like it.  If it's too hard, forget it."

If this is your heart attitude as you approach God's Word, you might as well be a 2 year old with her hands in her ears screaming, "I can't hear you!!!"

I did this for a long time.

I remember one instance when God impressed upon my heart (in my quiet time) to call a former friend, whom I had not seen in 12 years, to apologize for lying and covering up the fact that I had gossiped about her.  By the way, she totally busted me.  But I lied and denied as hard as could!  

Keep in mind, this entire 12 years, I was a church going, Bible study attending believer.  I had a quiet time each day too.  But it was a "check off the list" kind of quiet time.  Nothing meaningful.

For 12 years, every time I sensed the Lord's conviction, I was like a 2 year old child with her hand in her ears.  My obedience was based completely on convenience. 

But this time - things were different...  I was in a tumultuous season of life.   I desperately needed to hear direction from the Lord.   This act of obedience would not be convenient nor easy.  It would require humility and embarrassment.  Yet,  I resolved that I'd rather look like a fool to her - than to my God.
So, I called her...   2x's... No answer...
Left a voice message...   No reply...
Then wrote a letter of confession and apology.  Stamped it... Put it immediately in the mailbox -

You know what happened next?  Bricks of guilt fell away. 

And a flood of God 's wisdom and direction came rushing in during subsequent weeks of quiet time - my conscience was totally clear and the break-through I so desperately needed eventually came. 

Ironically, this act of obedience (though difficult) was what precipitated the birth of what would later become Knowing God Ministries!

So if you still can't "hear" when you open your Bible...   Take an honest look at your heart attitude toward God and His Word.   If you're heart is not contrite nor do you tremble at His Word - your ears will remain dull.

Girlfriend, I know that this is a hard word - but obedience brings joy and freedom!  A few weeks ago, after I had finished speaking, a lady walked up to me with a scowl on her face saying - "I feel like you've beat me up.  Yet at the same time - I know you're right." 

Whatever God may be impressing upon your heart - DO IT!



Prayer Journal Training: 

Listening Section -

1.  Write the date and the issue God may be addressing in the left column under the word:  Date. 

2.  In the block section to the right - (under the word: Title)  write out the Scripture and what you sense Him saying.

I'd show you mine, but there are just things that are too personal that I have written.  But that's the beauty of your prayer journal!  As you pour out your heart to God, He'll answer and address those questions or insecurities.  Write them down!  You may want to memorize what He's said.

Tips for Hearing God Speak, Part 2

Psalm 119:18

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.

Tip #1:  Sit Down!
Tip #2:  Believe the God of the Universe wants to speak to you -
Tip #3:  Open in prayer
Tip #4:  Come to your quiet time with your circumstances in mind -
Tip #5:  Connect the dots of your circumstances to what your are reading -
Tip #6:  Write what you sense God saying in your prayer journal.  I use the listening section or either the "day" pages in the back. 

More on this next week!

What's in it for Me???

Psalm 19:7 NLT (italics mine)

The instructions of the LORD are perfect, reviving the soul.

The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.

The commandments of the LORD are right, bringing joy to the heart.

The commands of the LORD are clear, giving insight for living.

Tips for Hearing God Speak

Matthew 6:33

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

This week, I'll be sharing practical tips to hearing God speak.

Today:

Tip#1:  Sit down

Tip #2:  Belief and expectation

For more: click on the arrow below. 

If you are having trouble opening, double click on the title of the blog - then scroll down and click on the video.

God Speaks Personally

 

        

1stAnnual KGM Golf Tournament -

May 18th!  9:00am shotgun

12 Oaks, Holly Springs NC  

If you can: PLAY, Volunteer, or Donate prizes or goodies for Gift bags  

contact me @:  tara@knowinggodministries.net

We need help of the Body of Christ!

Does God really speak?

Today's post:

• Video blog on the Listening section of the Prayer Journal
• Iron Sharpens Iron Announcement
• Pictures from this past weekend.

Jeremiah 29:12-14

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you," declares the Lord.

Tomorrow: 

I share the story of the first time I heard God speak to me personally - after a miscarriage.

Don't miss it!

2.  May 11, 2012;
11:30-1:00pm

When did you last have an opportunity to ask hard marriage questions to:

-An Award winning Marriage Author?

- A Marriage Counselor?

and

- An anointed Bible teacher/speaker who had us in stitches in March?

Don't miss May's Luncheon of:

Ask the Experts!

Last Luncheon before summer:

3 Experts - 1 Room - Your questions

relating to marriage.

Early Bird Registration ends - Wednesday @ 5!

Click here to register

MacGregor Downs Country Club, Cary NC

If you are too shy to ask, send me your questions.  I'll ask!

Ministry News

May's luncheon: 

Ask the Experts!

3 Experts - 1 Room - Your questions

relating to marriage.

May 11, 2012; 11:30-1:00pm
MacGregor Downs Country Club, Cary NC

If you missed Nancy, Gwen or Autumn's powerful luncheon talks - you will not want to miss this luncheon.  It will be unlike anything we've done before.  You will determine the subject.  The floor is yours!

We believe the Bible is true and when it says, "iron sharpens iron" - we believe it!  So much can be learned from the questions each of us may have.

Invitations went out yesterday for our final lunch prior to summer.  If you did not get your invitation and want to come:

Click here to register

And email sandie@knowinggodministries.net to have your name added to our monthly invitation!

In North Carolina, on May 8th, voters will go to the polls and determine how they think marriage is to be defined.

I realize this may upset some of you.  But I, the Board and Team of Knowing God Ministries, with no hesitation and without reservation - submit to Biblical authority.  God defines marriage between one man and one woman.

Genesis 2:24

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

The battle is raging.  I see evidence on the news; in the paper; and on talk radio.  The enemy wants us (the Body of Christ) to be in confusion.  He wants us to bow to political correctness.  He wants us to be in fear of "children losing their health insurance" if the amendment is enacted.  (Which is NOT true.) 

And he wants more than anything to keep us in Biblical ignorance.

Search the Bible for scriptures relating to marriage...Look in the back at the appendix.

And see for yourself!

If you are in North Carolina - go to the polls between now and May 8th and 

Vote FOR marriage!