Intimacy in Marriage - a Gift to be Prioritized

Song of Solomon 5:1
Oh, love and beloved, eat and drink!  Yes, drink deeply of your love!

Friday's Luncheon - SO good to see familiar faces...



and to meet all the new faces!



We had a full house to discuss a topic that for the most part, is NOT discussed in the church at large.
The topic:  Intimacy in Marriage.



  How can it be?  How awkward for a Pastor or Minister to address from the pulpit:

• Lack of intimate desire?
• Menopause issues?
• Dryness?
• Pain?
• Body image issues?

But in a room full of Christian women - we discussed it!    And we didn't just scratch the surface, we talked about very real issues and received solid Biblical truth.

Personally, it was refreshing to discuss a subject that drives much of the culture, except we brought God's standard and truth into the subject.

The big message of the day:  Sex in marriage is a precious gift we should prioritize, protect and foster.

Brigitte Harrison, our bold, courageous speaker, encouraged us to:

• Build a wall!  Sex serves as a barrier against temptation.  She described it as adding a layer of bricks around the wall of your marriage.
• To not be ashamed!  Sex is not something to be ashamed of.  God created it and said that it was good.  

She told us that sex unifies.  That sex allows us to intimately know each other.  That sex is actually a picture of God's love!  God's love is about acts of service; His love is sacrificial; His love is selfless. Therefore, we should be the same.


She even challenged us to be creative and adventurous.  There were 3 questions we should ask:
1.  Does God say no to this?
2.  Is it good for us?  Will it be encouraging?
3.  Is it only us?  (NEVER should sex involve other people.)



And the biggie:  We, as women, should not only respond to our husband's advances, but it is vital for us to initiate.  Men want to know we are eager, not just enduring.  They want to feel wanted.



Not always easy.  Several women during the break approached me in tears sharing that their marriage is on the brink of disaster - and that they've never initiated intimacy.  They were thankful to have heard such truth.

During the Workshop -




Oh my!  What a hoot this was!  Tons of fun!

Between Rey Cooke, Debbie Wilson and Brigitte; Kelly Hollis as the moderator, anonymous questions from the audience were answered.  Nothing was held back!

They did a great job answering with practical suggestions - some that even made us belly laugh!  If you were there, who will forget what Rey shared about coconut oil???



In all seriousness, what I personally loved was how these women addressed issues that come from menopause.  One such example was Rey sharing that though she had lost most all desire, she made up her mind that since this was important to her husband, she would make it important to her.  She proceeded to share the practicals of how she did this.

Another big moment (in my opinion) was when Brigitte answered a question saying, "Many of these issues I shared were NOT my husband's issues.  They were mine.  But I sat with the Lord and allowed HIM to walk me through these issues instead of making them my husband's problems.  You should do the same - sit with Jesus.  Allow HIM to heal your heart."

Amen!

The other really awesome thing was the number of spiritually mature women who were in the audience and were able to add such encouragement to the discussion.  The things they shared were PROFOUND!  I wish you could have been there!  One such nugget:

• Resentment and Romance are not good bedfellows.  If you're angry with your husband and not forgiving him - romance can never come.

POWERFUL statement.

• Another shared how she found passion in her marriage again following breast cancer.  A very moving moment.

1. To see more pictures from the luncheon, click HERE
2. To share your favorite part of the luncheon or the teaching that was most meaningful to you, join us on the KGM Facebook page by clicking HERE

Don't miss our September luncheon -
September 18th with Debbie Wilson.
Topic:  How to Win at Spiritual Warfare

Pre-Order your copy of my latest book!

It's discounted if you order by August 28th!  You'll also receive some fun presale perks, like a pass for a friend to the

KGM @ Night Event September 10th!

Married Woman: Sex is Warfare

1 Corinthians 7:5
Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Given our topic for this week's opening luncheon:  Making Intimacy a Priority - 

And a subject I've studied in writing, The 7 Day Challenge Guidebook, Jump-start your Marriage in a Week ...

I've realized something I had never considered:  If you are married, and you and your husband are not coming together very often, you are inadvertently giving Satan a wide open door for temptation.  

In This Momentary Marriage, John Piper writes:


A married couple gives a severe blow to the head of that ancient serpent when they aim to give as much sexual satisfaction to each other as possible.   Is it not a mark of amazing grace that on top of all the pleasure that the sexual side of marriage brings, it also proves to be a fearsome weapon against our ancient foe? 

Marriage at its exquisite peak of pleasure speaks powerfully the truth of covenant-keeping love between Christ and his church. And that love is the most powerful force in the world.   It is not surprising then that Satan's defeat, Christ's glory, and our pleasure should come together in the undefiled marriage bed.

Is this new perspective or what???  Maybe not for you, but it has been for me. 

It's been my experience that women use sex as a weapon for getting what they want. Or have a take it or leave it mentality.  It's rare that I find a woman who craves sex as a man does.  

Regardless, sex needs to be on our radar because it's warfare against the enemy.  We, as women, must wake-up and become savvy.  Sex in the marriage bed is spiritual warfare against the one [Satan] who desires to kill, steal and destroy our marriages.  Sex becomes the blow to the ancient serpent while strengthening the family unit.

More on this subject?

Brigitte is the one on the right. 

• If you are local to the Raleigh, NC area, don't miss our luncheon Friday. A brave, courageous Pastor's wife, Brigitte Harrison will speak truth with authenticity on this subject.    

We'll also have panel members:  Rey Cooke, Debbie Wilson, and Brigitte Harrison, women representing all ages - willing to take your questions during the workshop hour.  Click HERE for more.

• My new book, written with Nancy Cobb!  There's a whole section on intimacy.  The practical suggestions will leave you gasping thinking, "Did I just read that?"  Oh girl, with Nancy's help - she BLEW ME away!  Prepare to be blown away yourself!

Pre-orders have started!  You can order your book now through Aug. 28th for a discount + more!  Click HERE

The God we WANT HIM to be

(Two Exciting Announcements Below)

Romans 1:21-22
Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn't  worship Him as God or even give Him thanks.  And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like.  As a result, their minds became dark and confused.  Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.


Because God is good, kind, merciful, forgiving, loving and long-suffering, it becomes easy to think God is a God:

• who is tolerant towards whatever our hearts desire and excuses sin 
• who says any world religion is fine as long as you are well-meaning  
• who says love is all that matters - marry and have sex with whomever you like  
• who says all things are permissible as long as you're a good person

We see this EVERYWHERE:  people thinking up foolish ideas of what God is like.   But this is thinking up a god who meets our individual desires...

Making Him the god we WANT Him to be... not the God Who reveals Himself on the pages of Scripture.   As a result, Scripture tells us, minds become dark and confused.  What a warning this is for those of us in the church AND outside the church.

The Creator God, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God Who sent His Son as the ONLY way to His heaven, is the same God WHO IS loving, merciful, forgiving, long-suffering and kind.

But He is ALSO:

• the God of wrath; (Romans 2)
• the God who will judge sin; (Romans 2)
• the God who shows his anger from heaven by allowing judgments to fall.  (Romans 2)
• The God who will expose and judge our secret lives and thoughts.  (Romans 2)
• the God who disciplines those He loves - allowing them to have hard times;  (James 1)
• the God allows persecution.  Christians aren't promised freedom on this earth - they're promised persecution.  (John 15:19)
• the God Who says, "My Spirit will not always strive with man."  (Gen 6:1)

Is this new to you?  if so, take time to read the references.  

There's so much erroneous teaching.  My new prayer has become, "Lord, protect me from formulating the god the world says you are.  Help me to know YOU, with great clarity, the God of the Bible."

Make sure you have not formulated GOD into a god you want Him to be.

Do you KNOW the God of Scripture? 

• Ask yourself, "Who do I believe God is?  Is this the God of Scripture or have I made him into what I WANT him to be?"

• Pray - "Help me to know WHO YOU truly are - not who i want you to be."

• Over the next week, watch these videos created by Anne Lotz.  They're wonderful for your quiet time... And will help you to understand not only the God Who is... but what all the national and international disasters unfolding in the news have in common with the God WHO is.

Coming Soon...


Preorders begin soon!  Details to follow.
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Luncheons are Back!
Save the Date: August 21
Registration Open

It's a HOT topic this month:  Intimacy in Marriage   
IF you're married or one day want to be - you will not want to miss this!
Click HERE for details