Submission's Purpose and A Wife's Job Description

Ephesians 5:22-23

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...

Modern day thinking DOES NOT WORK in marriage.

Modern day thinking:*

• Marriage is a 50/50 proposition - 
• You should treat your man as he treats you -
• Your man's job is to make you happy -

God's way of thinking:

• I am 100% responsible for my behavior NOT his.
• We are to love our husbands unconditionally.
• A source of power is readily available to help.
• My joy is not determined by another person.
• Doing things God's way is the key to having a joyful life.*

God is a God of order.    He has an order for the seasons.  He has an order for government.  He has order for the family.   His order for the family is for the husband to be the head of the home.

Let's look at it like a cooperation:

Husband is the President
Wife is the Vice President

The Vice President of any (healthy) company is not trying to undermine the President by trying to do the President's job.  He/she is trying to do their job with excellence for the common good of the company and share holders.

The same is true in the home.  Never mind his job.  FOCUS on your job.

The Woman's job description in marriage includes:

1.  She submits to his leadership.
2.  She's a helper to him.
3.  She respects him.
4.  She sleeps with him.
5.  She provides companionship.
6.  She's a wise home builder.

We'll be discussing these concepts and more in our online FaceBook group titled, "Submissive Wife Community with Tara."  Join us if you haven't already!

Two people vying for the same position creates a potential disaster.  A wise woman once told me, "Two heads make a monster.  Submit to his leadership."

* Taken from the Politically Incorrect Wife
Click HERE for more!

Submission: Defined and the Exceptions

Ephesians 5:22-23

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  

I can think of no other word in the English language that makes a woman cringe more than the word, submission.   (Look no further than the women who came out in droves spewing venomous curses at their repulsion of such people "living like this!" prior and just after the shows airing.

But twenty years ago, I was one of them.  So I understand the rage and the anger.

Little did I know, submission would be one of the keys to unlocking joy and peace within my home.

Biblical submission is one of the most misunderstood concepts in the Bible.  Yet, once you understand it's meaning and purpose, I believe you will think far differently.

The next 4 posts will be dedicated to Submission!  (Maybe more if God brings any other trains of thought to mind!)

1. Today:  Submission:  Defined and it's Exceptions
2. Submission:  Understanding it's Purpose
3. Submission:  A Gift
4. Submission:  Not for the Weak Woman
5. Submission:  The Power for Change

Submission defined:  voluntarily cooperating with another out of love for God and for the other person."

God would NEVER throw women under the bus by making her inferior or less than or giving her second class citizenship.   Submission is not subservience or being a door mat.

Submission is a choice.  It is a choice to cooperate with my husband for the greater good of my family.   It is a choice to obey God because He says so.

Submission does not mean I never having an opinion in the decisions being made.  Biblical submission means having a say, but doing so respectfully (another concept our group will cover in the coming weeks).

Submission means choosing to honor God's order in the family and to give my husband that place of authority.

Submission is a choice not to pout or manipulate when I don't get my way.

Submission is a choice to praise my husband's good decisions and to be gracious when he makes bad decisions.

I'll be honest: The power to submit in many instances does not come from self-will, but from the overflow of my time with God each day.  (More on this in a coming post.  But this is a very important concept you need to hear now and often.  Truly, THIS is the where the power comes from.)

Submission Examples

If you want to go to the beach on vacation and your husband wants to go to the mountains. Tell him why you want to go the beach.  Respectfully tell him your thoughts.   However, after listening to you, if he still insists the on mountains - the mountains it is.

And no pouting!

If we insist on our way, however, we sow contentiousness and reap bitterness and division in the home.

A wise man sees his wife's giftedness in certain areas and defers those responsibility to her. 

Just last week while cooking dinner,  Tim turned off the burner before the pasta was ready.  (My husband is an amazing cook and handles most of the cooking, I hang around to help and for moral support!)

While he was in and out from cooking chicken on the grill, I told him I had turned the pasta back on because it wasn't ready.

Tim immediately said, "No, turn it back off."
Me:  "Why?  It's still hard."
Tim:  "It'll be ready and not overcooked by the time I get everything else ready.

I didn't believe him.  Every fiber within me wanted to turn the burner back on.  We rarely eat pasta and I LOVE pasta.  I wanted to eat GOOD PASTA not hard pasta.

But then I remembered, I had just been on a show 3 days earlier called, Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage.  I KNEW I had to resist the urge to not have a stand off over PASTA .

So I resisted from turning the burner back on...

In the end, Tim was right.  The pasta wasn't overcooked, but was cooked perfectly!

Glad I passed that submission test:)

Submission Exceptions

There are exceptions to submission.  We answer to God first and then to our husbands.

1. Adultery
2. Abuse
3. Worship of other gods
4. Asking you to do something immoral or illegal.

If you fall into any of these categories:

• Begin by seeking counsel from God.  
• Prayerfully appeal to your husband.  
• Seek counsel from a pastor or church leader you can trust...    

For our discussions - I will be writing as if YOU DO NOT fall into any of these categories.  Again, if you do - I'm begging you - please seek immediate help!

Next Post:  Submission:  Understanding it's Purpose

New Online Community Following, "Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage"

Due to the overwhelming response from the show Sunday night, we're starting an online Facebook community called, Submissive Wives' Community with Tara Furman!

Click on the video or on the link below to learn more about new online community!
Online Community

It's a private group - but you are invited to access it through the Knowing God Ministries Facebook page.  We're keeping it private in order to keep the conversation focused!

Access through KGM Facebook  

Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend!

The Most Important Thing to a Man

Matthew 10:16
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

During Sunday night's show, Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage, my husband and I sat nervously side by side on our couch.... Almost in a surreal fog.  Both phones exploding with texts from loving friends and family members during commercial breaks.  Your support during one of the most fragile, insecure, yet determined seasons to trust God has been profound. Sweet readers, I truly cannot thank you enough.

As a result of Sunday Night's show, we have a lot more readers.  If you are new to our community, WELCOME!   I personally am so glad to have you and encourage you to subscribe!

Tim and I were THRILLED with how the show turned out.  Which by the way, kudos to Kristin and Mark.  I'm so proud of them.  It took courage to let the world see inside their marriage.  Yet Kristin's issues are more normal than not.  I admire how Kristin was brave enough to say, "I need help," and allow the world to watch a different way of thinking brings results in her home.

But here's the thing:  we filmed SO MUCH MORE than was actually shown!!!

We filmed scenes that dealt with:

• Forgiveness - 
• Communicating Respect with our words and actions - 
• Food being ministry - 
• The importance of taking care of yourself for your man - (not always sporting the grunge look)
• How to maintain the power for a lifestyle change, not just a seasonal change.

But in the end, sex sells.  Sex was the hook the casting company wanted to use in hopes of creating buzz for a potential Series.  (Boy did they create buzz!)

I realize this topic ruffled feathers - in the church and out.  

But here's the deal... Someone in America needs to be advocating for healthy sex within the boundaries of marriage.  

We live in a culture that:

• Celebrates kinky servitude sex evidenced by women going in DROVES to see 50 Shades of Grey.  
• Where pornography revenues exceed that of Google, Amazon, EBay and Yahoo combined.
• Where marriage between a man and woman is deteriorating WITHIN the church.
• Where marriage is becoming increasingly non-existent outside the church.
• Hollywood, TV, and media in general dictates to our children what acceptable sex is.

Look at what God says in His Word:  (1 Corinthians 7:1-5)

 It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 

3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. 

In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 

5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 

Someone in America needs to be talking about sex INSIDE the boundaries of marriage.  In light of our culture and what my children and yours are subjected to - if I'm one of a few lone wolves advocating for what works in marriage, then giddy up! Sign me up!

Sex is one of the many tools God has gifted to women to help us keep our marriages strong and unified.  

Ask 95% of the male population what the most important thing in the world is to him.  If he's honest, sex is at the top of his list.

So if this is the case, shouldn't we as married women make this one of priorities in marriage???  

Bottom line:  When we attend to the ONE THING that's important to our men, they will begin attending to the MANY THINGS that are important to us.

I, and MANY others I know, are living proof that the Bible works!

To learn more about my marriage story and how I began this "lifestyle," (still giggle over that word!) 

Intimacy with God:  Establishing a Vibrant Quiet Time and Prayer Time Bible

Foundational 7 week Study: Starting with the basics, this study teaches you how to see, hear, and talk to Jesus in your everyday life and circumstances. KNOWING GOD and knowing about God are two totally different things… 

Intimacy with God preview

The 1st Time I Heard God Speaks to Everyday People

John 8:47
"He who belongs to God hears what God says."

I remember the first time someone told me God speaks to ordinary people.

The year was 1994.  It was my first year in the Singles Bible Study Fellowship class.  I asked a friend, "How do the leaders become leaders in BSF?"

My friend: "God calls them."
Me:  "What do you mean 'God calls them?'"
Friend:  "He tells them to do it."

I remember thinking that was one of the weirdest, kookiest things I had ever heard.  I wanted to leave and never come back!

But I didn't leave.  I stayed... for 12 years.  Ironically, God would tell me to leave through Deuteronomy 1:6, "You have stayed long enough at this mountain, break camp and advance."  

I love it when God is THAT direct!

God speaking/connecting personally with His creation is not weird or kooky.  The more I understand Scripture, the more I understand how personal and intimate God desires to be with each one of us.   

EACH ONE OF US.  That means:

• The one who has worn a Scarlet Letter like abused, adulterer, divorced, abortionist, etc...
• The one who may have limited Bible knowledge...
• The one who was not raised going to church...
• The one who has major life issues and struggles...
• The one who may feel so unworthy...*

Now that I know God speaks to the ordinary, everyday people, I can't live without His tender, sweet voice.  ESPECIALLY during seasons of difficulty and hardship.

Do you want to understand more about hearing God speak personally to you?  Friday's lunch is for you.

But in case you can't come to the Luncheon -

Created for Purpose is great tool for learning more about this subject.

*Exerts from today were taken from this study.

Luncheon - Friday, May 15th

Hearing the Voice of God in Your Everyday Life

Speaker: Kim Powell

Register HERE

Luncheon Details: click HERE

TV Show Details - Sunday, May 17th 

New Name:    Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage

New Date:      Sunday, May 17th

Time:              9:00pm & 11:00pm

Channel:         TLC

My reading this morning was in Joshua 1.  Joshua 1:9, "Be strong and courageous..."  Courage is feeling fear, but ignoring it and acting in faith.  That's where I'm standing as it relates to this TV show airing Sunday night.  So grateful Jesus speaks to everyday people like me and you!

Can you Help?

• Share the show's premier!   Share it on social media.  Rally the Body in your corner of the world to watch it. 

• Watch it!

• Comment during or after the show - Twitter and TLC Facebook page  are HUGE.  The TLC website is too.

• PRAY - for the show to:

1. Represent His way of life - that others may want to learn more about it.
2. Teach His Word - BIG marriage principles are taught
3. Be an agent of salvation -  

By the way:  the 2 BIG Biblical principles that made the show:

1.  Submission - explained and lived out.  (Obviously!)

2.  Intimacy in Marriage:)

Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage Details

Deuteronomy 31:6
"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.  For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.  He will neither fail you nor abandon you."

Late Friday night when I got home from a women's event in Fayetteville, my husband was fast asleep.  The TV was quietly on.

I wasn't sleepy, but didn't want to bother him by turning up the TV.  So I decided to scroll the guide to see if the show was on the TLC schedule yet.  

I don't know why it surprised me, but there it was! This thing is actually going to be aired!

Details:

New Name:    Submissive Wives' Guide to Marriage
New Date:      Sunday, May 17th
Time:              9:00pm & 11:00pm

I'm going to be totally honest with you - the closer we get, the greater the fear I've been fighting.  I won't even list the fearful things trying to take residency in my mind.  But I will tell you what I've sensed God saying in response:

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid and do not panic before them.  For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you.  He will neither fail you nor abandon you."  Deut. 31:6

Side note:  God will speak this personally to YOU too.  Friday's luncheon is on this very subject. See below

Today I talked to the producer.  I cannot get a sneak peak prior to air time.  I'll be watching it for the first time with all of you!    But following my quiet time and my talk with her, I am at peace.  God is putting faith in my heart and used her to put my questions at ease.  (Truly, I had second thoughts about promoting it to you again...)

But this is where faith steps in.  Trusting that He Who began a good work, is well able to bring it to completion.  THIS IS GOD'S PROJECT; HIS SHOW; It's HIS IDEA to help marriages in America, through Biblical principles espoused in this show.  When I remember this perspective, the butterflies in my stomach take a nap!

What you can do to Help

• Share the shows premier!  Rally the Body of Christ in your corner of the world to watch it.  (Forward this blog - share it on social media)

• Give Feedback either during or after the show - comment on social media   Twitter and TLC Facebook page  are HUGE.  The TLC website is too.

• PRAY - the concepts espoused in Exodus 19:5.  For the show to:

1. Represent His way of life - that others may want to learn more about it.
2. Teach His Word - BIG marriage principles are taught
3. Be an agent of salvation -  

By the way:  the 2 BIG Biblical principles that made the show:
1.  Submission - explained and lived out.  (Obviously!)
2.  Intimacy in Marriage

Get ready!  Buckle your seat belts.  Not too many TV shows on the air are encouraging married couples in this very important area.  Don't miss it or let your friends miss it!

FINAL LUNCHEON OF THE SEASON!

GENERAL SESSION:​

​Speaker: Kim Powell

Register HERE

Hearing the Voice of God in Your Everyday Life

God does not just speak with a certain, elite few.  He desires to have open communication with ALL of His children.   In this session, you will:

• Learn what it means and what it looks like when God speaks practically God to you.
• How to listen and discern His voice among all the chatter and competition for your attention.

​Do not miss this foundational opportunity.  Hearing God speak in your everyday circumstances is LIFE CHANGING.

WORKSHOP:

Q&A from the General Session with Kim

Ask your questions!  REMOVE any mystery of God speaking personally to you!

Plus

Keep your Momentum in the Summer

Don't let the heat of the summer sap your relationship with Jesus.  We'll give you ideas and suggestions to keep your time fresh and revived!  

Our book table will be stocked with great summer reading/suggestions so your relationship with Jesus doesn't wilt with the heat!

Our Children are Watching...

Final Luncheon Information Below


My daughter and I.  
Lord only knows what I'm telling her, but I KNOW she's giving me the look!

Titus 2:7
"You yourself must be an example to them..."

Following my submission post last week, a friend of mine (also a well-respected Bible teacher, who wanted to remain anonymous) shared this story with me.  Her story has impacted my behavior and thinking ever since.

Here it is:

For 10 years following their wedding, his wife had been saving money because he confided he had always wanted a John Deere riding lawn mower.  

Finally she had enough to buy him the best!  

On their anniversary, she took him to their huge backyard.  He was floored to see the John Deere with a big red ribbon!  His dream had come true!  

He jumped on and took off!  But soon, becoming distracted by all the "bells & whistles," he failed to notice their pregnant Yorkie, who would soon to give birth to puppies.   Without thought, the pregnant dog ran in front of the mower.  To his horror, he severed her two back legs!  

The man jumped off, wrapped her in a towel and rushed her to the vet.  The vet saved her life, but shared he wasn't sure the puppies could survive.  

Two weeks later, she miraculously gave birth to three little Yorkies!  Soon, much to the couple's amazement, the little mommy dog learned how to run again by bopping her small bottom on the ground as she sputtered around.  

A few weeks later, her three puppies began to run... just like their mommy!  Without using their God-given back legs, they ran by bopping their bottoms on the ground, just as their mother was teaching them...

HOW ARE YOUR PUPPIES RUNNING?  

Our children are watching us.   What are they seeing?  What are we teaching them by our actions?

• Are we teaching them nominal Christianity?  Do we act the part on Sunday morning, but ignore our Bible and Jesus and His principles for living the rest of the week?
• Are we teaching them that we as women MUST have the last word and our way in marriage and other relationships no matter the cost?
• Do they ever see us humble ourselves and apologize to those we've wronged... starting with our husbands and possible family members (like a mother in law)?
• Are we teaching them to text and drive?  Put on make-up and drive?
• Are they watching us overcome adversity through the power of prayer and Jesus in our everyday life?  Are we teaching THEM to overcome adversity through prayer and relationship with Jesus?

We aren't perfect.   But what an illustration of how our everyday actions matter.  Our children (and others around us) are watching.  

Lord help us...

However, if your kids are grown and you're thinking, "I blew it!"  Here's the good news!

• Our God REDEEMS (Joel 2:25); 
• He specializes in Resurrection.  He's into raising dead things (like someone's faith) back to life!
• He can CREATE something (like someone's faith) out of nothing.  (Romans 4).  

Your job is to start bopping with the Lord and begin praying for your adult children.   He will be faithful.

FINAL LUNCHEON OF THE SEASON!

GENERAL SESSION:​

​Speaker: Kim Powell

Register HERE

Hearing the Voice of God in Your Everyday Life

God does not just speak with a certain, elite few.  He desires to have open communication with ALL of His children.   In this session, you will:

• Learn what it means and what it looks like when God speaks practically God to you.
• How to listen and discern His voice among all the chatter and competition for your attention.

​Do not miss this foundational opportunity.  Hearing God speak in your everyday circumstances is LIFE CHANGING.

WORKSHOP:

Q&A from the General Session with Kim

Ask your questions!  REMOVE any mystery of God speaking personally to you!

Plus

Keep your Momentum in the Summer

Don't let the heat of the summer sap your relationship with Jesus.  We'll give you ideas and suggestions to keep your time fresh and revived!  

Our book table will be stocked with great summer reading/suggestions so your relationship with Jesus doesn't wilt with the heat!