Intentionally Directing our Children in Marriage

Genesis 24:3

"I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."

When you read the opening segment of Genesis 24, we learn that Abraham was "old and advanced in years." However, instead of kicking back and coasting through his last years, he was intentional about making sure that his son DID NOT marry any of the unbelieving women around him. Why? Because the God he had taught his son to love and obey would be forever compromised if he married one of the girls in the neighborhood.

So Abraham commanded his servant to find a wife from his "own relatives." In other words, find a wife from within the family for Isaac. We are to do the same thing. We are to instruct our children to marry within the family of God.

What priorities are you helping your children set for selecting their spouses? Are you steering them to make decisions based on:

• Certain backgrounds?


• Certain financial means?


• Certain professional means?


• Certain educational levels?


• Certain political views? (I'm certainly guilty of this one!)


• A certain social status?

In an effort to direct our children not to be unequally yoked, I'll share some specific things I learned and am practicing after reading Anne Lotz's, Magnificent Obsession, Embracing the God-Filled Life.

As Christian parents, we need to:

• Direct our children to connect with Christian friends, since they will likely choose a friend to date.


• Limit their dating to Christians, since most likely they will marry someone they have dated.


• Urge them to not go to certain places where temptations may be more than they can handle.


• Encourage them to marry someone who shares not just their religion, their denomination, their traditions, or their education, but their passion - someone who loves Jesus with all of his or her heart, mind and soul.

Abraham's priority was spiritual. Ours should be too. If our children end up with someone who is not truly godly, how will our faith and our personal relationship with Jesus be passed on to our grandchildren?

Next post: What to do if you realize YOU are unequally yoked.