Betrayal

Sweet Girlfriend, it's a long one today. I enter today's post with a heavy heart and very prayerfully. This is an emotional, gut-wrenching subject. But it's real world. And I hear of it often. Though my husband has never betrayed me nor me him, (and I pray it never happens), I have seen betrayal first-hand in marriages close to me.

Please remember I am not a Christian counselor or psychologist. I'm just a 30 something (almost 40 something) woman who loves Jesus - who's discovered from life experience that this Bible stuff - actually works.

Do you remember the first day I started posting this month's theme? I wrote that I would only share what God has taught me personally. Therefore, I'm going to keep a very complex subject as simple as possible.

Jesus understands what it's like to be betrayed. John 13:2-3, tells us that Jesus knew what was on Judas' heart. In fact, after Jesus willingly washed Judas' feet, He stated:

"The one who shares my food has turned against me..."

(v18) NLT

So the question is: Do we still serve our husbands (or others) who have hurt us; or betrayed us?

1. Have you been deeply hurt by your husband? Are you still holding onto the bitterness and the anger? Is this keeping you from loving him? Is it keeping you from demonstrating your love?

I've been deeply hurt before. And more and more I "played the tape" over and over again in my mind, bitterness was taking root. That particular morning in my quiet time, I heard the Lord speak into the depths of my wounded heart, "Do you want Me to fix this or do you want to fix this? If you want me to fix this, forgive him and love him. Don't forget, I've forgiven you of the many things you've done to me. If you hang on to unforgiveness - My hands are off."

Do I need to say any more? When we hang onto to unforgiveness, we shut God out. Do you think you can work out your situation better than God can? Jesus demonstrated His love for His disciples by washing their feet. He was setting precedent for how to overcome evil. (Again, His economy, so different from ours. Our economy says, this jerk can kiss my feet and maybe if he does it well enough, I'll be nice.) Not God's way-

2. Have you experienced the ultimate betrayal? A breach of your covenant vows?

I hate to say this, but there's Biblical grounds for divorce when this happens. HOWEVER, divorce is never God's way and He wants to do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine. He is able to take what Satan intended for harm and work it out for good.

When your man is repentant; and God is working in your heart to have mercy and grace - God will give you the power to forgive. (You have to work with Him.) He can supernaturally RESTORE your marriage, if you do things His way.

Often, you may need Christian counseling. And certainly, much work will need to take place for healthy restoration. But restoration can come. One element of restoration is certain: you must CHOOSE forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion, but a choice. Do you hold his behavior over him? Do you continually remind him of his betrayal and how hurt you are? (I think it's supernatural not to do these things.) HOWEVER:

I have seen first hand the following promises come to fruition:

1. "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten." Joel 2:25

Girlfriend, that is good news! WRITE IT DOWN. Make this Scripture your daily prayer.

2. At the wedding in Cana, Jesus turned the water into wine. The second half of the wedding was better than the first, as the host replied:

"Everyone brings out the choice wine first... but you have saved the best till now."

Jesus can miraculously work in your marriage, just as He did at the wedding in Cana. He can make the later half so much sweeter and better than the first half! It is nothing short of a miracle.

I don't want to make light of this subject. But I have learned that our God is still in the business of miracles. He is a BIG GOD. His mercies are new everyday. Greater is He Who is in YOU, than he who is in the world.

Keep in mind:

There is one common denominator in these marriages (I've witnessed) whose 2nd half is sweeter than the 1st:

These women make spending time with Jesus EACH DAY a priority. He is their Life-line.

They would tell you themselves, that if it were not for Jesus, things would not have turned out the way it did.

How could they? He's the One who gives us the ability to do the supernatural - to LOVE and to demonstrate love to the unloveable.

Love you friend,