God is my Portion

Psalm 119:57

"You are my Portion, O Lord..."

One of the milestones Will had to reach before he could eat was the ability to pass gas. This would indicate that his intestines were waking up and beginning to function properly.

Each day, Will and I prayed and prayed - but nothing. He was starving. The last time he had eaten was Friday morning before school. He was not even allowed to suck on an ice chip. These were long, hard, hungry days.

Finally on Wednesday morning - TOUCHDOWN!!! He passed gas and he could begin eating! We followed the doctors and nurses advice - start slow with broth etc... and begin building. By evening, he had graduated to macaroni and cheese. However, moving this quickly would prove to be a big mistake.

Without giving the gory details - he relapsed BIG TIME. It was awful and painful to watch. Due to the nature of his surgery - it made the relapse that much worse. This would set us back a day - that felt more like 3.

By Friday, he begin eating again. We received the same advice from doctors and nurses - except this time - 'Mama Nazi' showed up! We would go even slower than advised. Slower in my mind would equal success - which would equal going home - which would equal sleeping in my own bed! The nurses were pushing me to be more aggressive with his feeding - but I would not budge. After Wednesday night - there was a new sheriff in town: "Mama Nazi!" The eyes that were rolled in my direction - were too many to count - but we would be doing this Mama Nazi's way or no way at all!

I started with dry Cheerios. I counted out 5. If figured if he could tolerate 5 - he could have more. We grew to 8 - to 10- to 15. (By this time, he was ravenous for food.)

A little side note: for a long time prior - a dear friend would tell me that God was my Portion. I never understand what she meant. Every time I heard "portion," I would think of chocolate cake portions... Totally not what she meant!

All of sudden, while portioning out Will's Cheerios - God gave me a beautiful picture of what my friend had been trying to teach me. (God being my Portion.)

As I gave Will small portions of food and saw that he was able to handle the small portion - he'd get a larger portion. If he handled that portion - his portion would grow. If I had not been careful and had given him the larger portion at first - he could not have handled it -and would have relapsed again.

The same is true of God. God knows what you are able to handle. Are you desiring for your business to grow? Your ministry to grow? Your influence to grow? Your bank account to grow? Do you have more to do than you have time for? Or just the opposite - not enough strength for the day? God, being our Portion, means that He will never place more on our plates than we can handle.

At the time, I really wanted my ministry to grow. Secretly in the past, I've envied other women in ministry who are really successful - like Anne Lotz (she's my favorite); Beth Moore and Lysa Terkeurst just to name a few. NOT ANYMORE! Have you ever found yourself envying other people's "larger portions?"

God taught me a lesson that day - through the dry Cheerios, what it means for Him to be my portion. I learned and have never forgotten that I need not envy (nor should you) because I am not equipped to handle what those I was envying have been given to handle. (And trust me, I've seen a glimpse of it - and it is NOT easy. Ministry is hard work and you and your family and your marriage become direct targets for attack from the enemy.)

Whatever you are facing today, will you allow God to be your Portion? Will you ask Him to be your Portion?

And then trust that your All-Wise and All-Knowing Father will never give you more than you can handle!