The Tone of our Voice

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Picking-up from last week's 'home building' segment - today's topic is a biggie. It's an area that I greatly struggle: the tone of our voice.

Oh, it's easy to be sweet as sugar to anyone who calls or comes by - but what about the people who live in our homes? What happens when they frustrate us? Or use a harsh tone with us? Or perhaps they're are doing something we consider unwise or idiotic?

I don't know about you, but my knee-jerk, natural reaction is to blast them! It feels good coming out - but it ALWAYS results in a strained environment. The peaceful, joyful home we once enjoyed is quickly replaced with unforgiving silence, bitterness or strife.

Last week, we learned from Proverbs 14:1 -

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

Our voice tone - can destroy our homes if we are not careful. Don't forget, we as wives and mothers set the tone in our homes. This is a huge amount of power. We must use this power wisely.

Let me give you an example: Just last week, my husband was cooking a casserole for me. I peeked in the oven before it was ready and in a loud voice said, "you're burning it!"

The entire atmosphere immediately changed. Here, this thoughtful man, attentive to the fact that I was in the middle of a stressful week, was taking the initiative to help me by cooking dinner. And what was I doing? Criticizing him and jumping down his throat. No one wants to feel belittled. No one wants to be "blasted." (Certainly not us, if the situation were reversed.)

Can you relate? Do you see how quickly we can stir anger and tear down our homes? It only takes a second - and the direction of the entire evening/day is in the pit. And then we wonder why they are withdrawn, uncooperative and sullen...

Let's remember, when "blasted" (figuratively speaking) or when we instinctively want to "blast":

• it's a gentle answer that turns away wrath.
• harsh words stir up anger.

Let's get into the habit of:

• pausing before responding;
• saying a quick arrow prayer, "help me Jesus."

And adjusting our tone of voice so that our homes are havens of peace - not strife.