Friends with the Opposite Sex

 

Ephesians 4:27

Do not give the devil a foothold.

 

We've been talking about a specific kind of friend in these last few posts - a Jesus friend.  But just to make sure we are on the same page, 

A Jesus friend is a WOMAN if you are a woman. 

A MAN if you are a man.

Do you remember the scene in "When Harry Met Sally," when Harry told Sally that "no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her." 

There's a lot of truth in that comment.  Ask any man.  If he's honest, he'll confirm it.  Except I call friendship with the opposite sex something else: "giving the devil a foothold."

If you are a married woman, the only male "friend" you should have is your husband. 

Now, I'm not talking about being friends with men. Being friends and being friends are two totally different things.   

What do I mean by being friends?  

It is completely inappropriate to call or email or connect with a married or single man on a regular basis without their spouse's knowledge.  

And it is doubly inappropriate if you are an attractive, single woman to connect with a married man on a regular basis.  

And even when it's business - YOU MUST put up boundaries.  I have a good friend whose husband made it his policy to intentionally NOT hire attractive assistants.  He is a believer; a devoted husband and father.  But he's honest enough with himself and his wife to know that working with an attractive woman would be too much of a temptation for him.

You see, this is how the devil works - you give him a foothold and he will do his best to make "nothing" into "something." 

This is also how fantasies begin.  You go home... And that particular day your spouse is not satisfying you the way you think they should be satisfying you.  You slowly begin to think your married to a slub... 

Then you remember that kind, well groomed, well mannered man that must be Mr. Perfect.

Then sexual thoughts can come into play.  Sexual immorality starts in the mind then leads to more... And let's be real - hot animal sex outside of marriage doesn't just happen in the bathroom of a restaurant at the very beginning of a relationship.   It starts innocently...  Perhaps with an email... a text or two or three...  More correspondence...   more meetings... 

Do you see what I'm saying? 

If you have a friendship with a married person other than connection here or there or brief business - BURN THE BRIDGE.  The other side may begin to look promising - oh, but girl, it's scorched earth on the other side.  And if you DO go there - there may be no way back to the other side...

Don't give the devil a foothold.