Spiritual Leadership - Who's in Charge?

 

Looking for a fun summer activity?

Join other women who have purchased the "Marriage Bundle" from our luncheons and are gathering in homes and churches to listen, to take notes, and to discuss! 

5 weeks/5 lessons

No homework - except application of what's learned!

Make it fun!  Have everyone bring a dessert or appetizer to share!

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Today is a continuation from a "glimpse" inside our May luncheon, "Ask the Experts." 

Question #2:  Currently, I'm the spiritual leader of our home.  How can I make this change so that my husband becomes the leader?

Nancy:  When I first began going to Bible study, my husband did not even want to see my Bible.  He told me that he didn't mind if I did it, but to keep it away from him.  So before he came home from work each day, I'd stuff my Bible and supplies under the sofa so that he couldn't see them. 

At the same time, I began submitting to his authority in the  home and would talk about how great he was in front of the children.  ( So that he could hear.)  When my children would ask me a question, I would often refer them to their father - so that everyone in the home knew that we all submitted to dad.

I also promoted him in my heart to be the spiritual leader of the home.  I also allowed him to choose the church we attended.

Gwen:  I prayed for 17 years.  I stopped nagging.  When God began growing Jeff, he grew up fast!  Yet I raised our 4 sons as God commanded.

Autumn:  PRAYER!  If your husband is a believer, then you are both growing at different rates.  It is God's desire more than yours that your husband become the spiritual leader of your home.  So pray and do not give up.

Question #3:  It's my desire that my husband and I pray together - that we would be on the same page and do something big for God together - how?

Autumn:  You are doing the big thing!  If you are praying for your husband and serving your family wholeheartedly - this is the big thing.  You're staying together - you're not quitting.  Be encouraged.  God is at work! 

Nancy:  Why would God grow our ministries when we have not even gotten the first one right?  Your first ministry is to your husband - then to your children...

Question 4:  What do you do when alcohol is coming between us?  He gets angry...

Nancy:  If a woman is verbally/physically abused - she should leave and get help.

Autumn:  There's a wounded place in his heart - he most likely is turning to alcohol to mask the pain and fear.  Ask the Lord to show you how to pray and what to do.  The Holy Spirit will tell you.  You are called to be his helpmate.  So the "Helper," the Holy Spirit, will help you and give you insight. Then do it.

Gwen:  You can't reason when he's drinking - so don't try.  Tell him that you will talk with him later.  Pray for him - ask the Lord to deliver him from this bondage.  Our God is a BIG God and can do anything.

These questions only represent a few of the highlights! 

Make plans now to attend our next luncheon: 

August 10, 2012 - "The Language of Love," 

Speaker:  Suzi McDuffee

Pornography - What do we do?

Question #1: 

"What do you when you've caught your husband looking at porn?"

At our May Iron Sharpens Iron luncheon, we invited the ladies who had spoken in previous months to do a Q&A panel discussion.  We entitled it:

Ask the Experts!

Initially, I was nervous about the format.  We had never done this before.  What if there were no questions asked - 40 minutes is a long time!   People have paid money to attend.  At KGM, we are committed to bringing value to your everyday life.

In response to prayer, we had quite the opposite - time ran out!   I'm convinced if we had allotted another hour - no one would have moved.  It was such an insightful meeting! 

The questions were raw...  They were real...  They dealt with issues that many of today's women face.

We've recorded the lunch.  The quality is okay.  This is the part that keeps me from making it available to you.  We desire to do everything with excellence to the best of our ability.  If you are okay with mediocre sound quality - let me know.   If enough of you desire it - we will make it available.  It's the information that's of such great value.

In the meantime, here's a glimpse into our meeting...

Question #1:   How do you respond when you've caught your husband looking at porn?  (The question was asked in the context of 1st time.  Not as an ongoing issue.)

Autumn:   "Stay calm.  If you go off,  it will not help the situation.  This is not about you.  Often women blame themselves.   But you must understand, this is NOT your fault. This is his stuff.   You must realize the enemy has lied, manipulated and tricked him.

He needs accountability to other men.  In other words, he needs to have godly men around him who will hold him accountable.  If he does not have godly friends, PRAY them into his life.  Pray that God will establish these friendships.  In the long run, accountability from another man is better received than from you.

Gwen:  "Confront him lovingly.  Anytime a spouse is looking at another in a lustful way - this is sin. Tell him this is sin.  That this defiles your marriage and your marriage bed.  And that this hurts your marriage.

If he is repentant, place safe guards need to be put in place - a filtered internet.  Yet, filters do not change the heart issue.  Porn is a heart issue.  You must pray for the purity of his heart.


Nancy:  "Forgive him.  If you choose forgiveness, God will go after him.  Then you must start praying for your husband.

A member of our audience added:  (Which I thought was an out of the box point - and a good one at that!)
"NOTHING is an excuse for porn.  It is his choice.  Yet, are we making it easy for our husbands to fall into sin?

• Do we make home a haven?
• Do we keep our children so involved in everything - wild in activity.  Late bed times for the children...  Everyone exhausted
• Always remember when you husband leaves to go to work - the way you look in the morning is the what he will remember all day.  He may be looking at attractive women all day...  What do you look like when he comes home?
• Are we depriving him sexually?

This leaves a man very vulnerable to the culture.  Home is to be a haven.  Don't allow the busyness of the world creep in."

So much more was said - I've merely hit the high points...

Tomorrow: 

Question #2:

"Currently, I'm the spiritual leader of my home - how do I change this?"

Without Apology

"Within the covers of that single book,  are all the answers to all the problems that face us today...  If we'd only read it and believe..."    

-President Ronald Reagan, referring to the Bible

If you do not have time now to watch this 4 minute, save it and watch it later.  It's worth every minute of your time.

My sweet uncle Jeff just recently shared this with me, knowing I'd love it.  

In a culture that's obsessed with political correctness, I can hardly believe that a United States President is on record saying all that is said here.

How far we have slidden... in the last 20 years.

Regardless if you liked his politics or not - savor the fact that at one point in time, (not so long ago) we had a man that would speak the name of Jesus with great boldness and without apology.   

I pray the day will come again, when God raises up another like him.